I haven't posted anything in a very long time... Thats because I've been writing an rewriting a number of things over and over again. I've got this need to write a boat load of poems about burnt out buildings, abandoned midwestern downtown avenues, and women trapped in relationships they got into when they were 17 and their husbands weren't alcoholics.

I don't know why I have this compulsion, but I am very glad to have it. I assume it has something to do with no longer feeling very sorry for myself. I feel that 2009, and the small amount of poetry I produced in its last half, were the result of retaining too many impulses and not acting on my values and talents. How does one defeat depression? I don't know, all I know is that sometimes dropping out of school twice can be helpful, even if your grades are O-K.

Also, if you ever find out that someone you helped out in the past failed to ever recognize that you had a hand in their brief successes, and subsequently spent 2 years lying to you about robbing a business where you helped them get a job...? Well may be you could forgive them if you can find a way for them to show you they've changed... But what if their story changes every time you hear it? In that case, go ahead and spend a brief week selling that motherfucker down the river in every way you can. After you've made your knowledge available to all concerned parties you can go ahead and make sure you keep the hell away from them. They do not deserve anything from you. Actions such as this will also lead to inner peace and happiness.

I know there's no rest for the obsessed
So I charm preoccupations until they're gettin undressed
Once abstractions are naked I'm always hard pressed
To remember what was curious about stressing so furious
Over and over and over and over again
Digging what was buried, digging what was trend
Its no crime to want but its a shame to pretend
That its something when its not
I'd rather not chase things so easily forgot
Like when I got them caught in a lie
When I'm not the mote in they eye
Like when I got them caught in a lie
Know I'm not guilty of not havin tried.

I know there's no rest for the obsessed
But when all I wanna hear is fault confessed
Takes a second to remember can't squeeze water from stone
So I'll ask a happy liar to please just leave me alone.

Giovanni Wrote the first verse. Draft of a song.

I’m sorry that I’m sorry
All of the time
I’m sorry that I hurt you when I get out of line
words have no meaning without rhyme

I’m sorry that I’m sorry
All of the time
I’m sorry that I hurt you when I get out of line
I’m sorry this and sorry that, and lately sorry’s fallin flat
took a while to tell you that
But of course I’m sure you’ve realized that
I feel sorry that I’ve turned sorry into a crime
Now words have no meaning without rhyme

I’m sorry that I’m sorry
All the gosh darn time
I’m sorry that I’ve bastardized
This useful adjective
Now you’ve found
Now you’ve found I’ve made it into some freakish noun
I am, I am, I am, I am sorry*8
I’m sorry about the way that word just sits on the air,
Stinking up your life with it is just unfucking fair
An excuse I use all the time
Like some apologetic recidivistic slimeball covered in slime
Stinking up the room with the same old words that I use all the time.

Dog Shoe Blues (6am Tuesday)

Old man coming down the side of the road,
Got a bone in his hand and a dog by his shoe.
I’ll tell you buddy, thats whatcha gotta do
When you aint got a penny for no dog food.
Gotta save you a bone from that chicken that yah stole,
Gotta carry that piece to keep that dog at your sole.

drunken epiphany

Two steps, two steps, thats all you get, love the lesson you learn to forget. Turn to the plan writ secondhand, muster common place demands. Test market flow, research prospect, targeting certitude is never suspect. I am the laughing in the darkness, I am your bitter loving snarkiness.

A HALFWAY DRAFT - INCOMPLETENESS

My head went sailing,
High above the shore,
Eyes
Traced the spindrift plying
Crested crashings evermore.
I uhz
Warmed by the sun
Bouncing off the sea


I fear the passing of every day,
I feel my time being pulled away,
It hardly matters,
Anyway
Whats my time to theirs or thine?
Moments bubbling in gurgling brine
Green with youth and salty with age,
Spiced learning beneath a bitter rage
Against the motion of it all.
Rage against the notion of the ends distant call,
On turbid oceans no man can forestall
The pull of world's edge and that final fall
Over the last seas ledge, into the maw
Of blackness, questions, and sleep in the raw.

Coffee Caffeine Coke

Come on talk to me,
You never talk to me,
At least you never do
The way I want you to.

Come on look at me,
You see me looking at you,
And I guess our eyes meet,
But you're never looking back
The way I want you to.

Unrequited yeah,
Its fucked up but fair,
Feels fucked up to care
As much as I do.

Unrequited yeah,
I don't mean to stare,
but
I can't help but suck up to you.

Unrequited yeah,
You think I suck, thats fair,
I'll be a gift wrapped fuck up for you,
For you

For my first love
And my worst friend.
Am I aiming too high?
I'd be a fool not to try
Nah thats just a joke,
Girl yah make me sigh,
Disappointment makes me choke,
I know you cannot tell a lie
Until you get your coffee, caffeine, coke.

Ogrll

There are people in life that
Will laugh cheat and lie
And try try try
To pick you apart
As if it were art.

There is scum on the streets that
Will cry, bitch, and bleat
and beg beg beg
For a mouthful of meat
And they won't be discrete.

The priveleged have power that
Can organize every hour
Gone by by by
But those efforts will sour
On behalf of a flower
Or an orphan.

And I I I
I'll just sit and wonder why
What use it is to try
And be the nicest guy I can
When you don't seem to understand
That in the face of every poker hand
I'm still the stoic and sullen man
Thats never seen a girl as grand
As you.

Oh girl,
How can you think its so paltry
That I've born the yolk of society
And remained distinctly me?
Ogre-ill.
How can it be so hard to see
The gold I seek is sincerity.
To be bold is sometimes no mercy.